Posted blog this morning, did some jobs on my list, didn’t all go well and end up frustrated and annoyed at self, day became lost to darkening mood and find myself looking out at what I know is a beautiful view.
A low “fug” descends but I know that tomorrow I may well feel much better. Afternoon sleep needed but mood stays low. This rollercoaster hasn’t dipped like this for a while. Able to reassure myself that I am not suicidal and don’t want to end everything although financially I can leave the family in a better position now.
This is not a post for likes or responses it is a self flush out.
Mental health and the moods linked to it are part of me. Roll with it. Today if I did everything in my head I might give up my art or at least sharing it with others, give up my part time job, retreat from the world and not inflict myself on others. Friday I shall be at a local venue offering some adults why I think art is about fun and doesn’t have to be a serious endeavour. I will be there and we will have fun but right now I just have to stop trying and sit.