Parenting after they have left home

We have two sons. One no longer lives at home. He chose a different lifestyle to ours. He is only too willing to dismiss our lifestyle choices. He is an adult.

We have two sons. One no longer lives at home. He has many issues including mental health issues, a drug habit, homeless. he is an adult.

Two statements both true. Do they evoke different responses? Possibly. Key words that get a reaction. Today like on many other occasions a sudden message that he wants us to sort out help for him.

Issues with that;

– we haven’t made direct choices for his actions for at least five years

– he rejects our lifestyle and choices

– when offered help it has to be on his conditions so usually fails very quickly

– lies about current drug situation

– he thinks we have an endless supply of money and influence

– he won’t actually approach for help himself except under his conditions (see above)

Why am I posting this? To be honest I don’t know as I don’t seek answers, I don’t think there is a clear one except that he needs to take responsibility for himself. More of a vent after an afternoon where I became concerned he might “go for” a member of the public because of his mood so ended up in a phone trail to where he was to look after people.

I used to work too much, I may have contributed to his issues but there is no clarity. I just get wound up, snappy with those around me, all for someone for whom my decisions aren’t acceptable but I am expected to help them out while being bombarded with random insults.

I could drive to his side of the country and be there in person and it would just be the same except face to face, no difference.

Loud frustrated scream like noise at this point……

Vent over.

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