I wasn’t going to blog for a long time but some have got in contact re. my disappearance online generally. A week of deep lows and recovery towards a much better position.
Deep fall off in MH. Trigger known but not for blog discussion. I was at lowest in memory. Anne got me a gp appointment which I agreed to attend. I was shaking like a large branch in a storm, no gentle leaf fluttering. I agreed to see Community Mental Health Team as even keeping eye contact was almost impossible and I was not in a safe state of mind.
I came off social media and wiped ‘000s off my gross follower total. Twitter accounts are now gone. FB went from over 400 to 28, mainly family and some very key MH supporters.
The GOB diary has continued, there were a couple of positives even on such a bleak day. Lots of chat at home and research behind trigger factor.
More positive. Attended CMHT assessment and spoke honestly. Await outcome. Time spent out on some retail therapy – chisels and food.
More positive. There are still certain triggers that reduce me to a shakey wreck. More GOB positives each day.
Saw gp and able to demonstrate how things had picked up.
Even went down to row club in evening to drop off some sweets, but I felt immediately at ease and stayed and trained including more of the circuits completed and a 5k row in 20m 55s, went off too fast and at half way stopped for about 90 secs.
Retail therapy – Charlie came out with us too. First to canoe shop and new paddling attire for three, lots of trying on and coping to put on then remove items with neoprene cuffs etc. Lunch at Costa bought by Charlie. Onwards to look at a Yeti – test drove and liked so another purchase initiated. On return journey saw a Defender I had spotted on AutoTrader app. Expensive for year / mileage but lots of toys.
Spent too much time online last two to three days on cars rather than social media but something to watch.
All three to Swanage together a.m.. Charlie dropped at railway. Was down to row at 10 but so cold not enough to crew boat available but did help put boat away and got feet wet too. Great coffee and natter in High Street Cafe and Anne came so met number of club. Afternoon did some garden digging, about 4 barrow loads.
As missed row yesterday asked if space for today. So leave home 07.30, on water for about an hour – now favour seat 1. Cafe again afterwards. Home, Anne wanted some exercise so we decided to go through estate and down South Street towards Chapmans Pool.
Too muddy to get all the way, so up slope and over to Worth Matravera – steak pasty, and drink then easier route back along road.
Measured once home – about 6.5 miles.
Rest and decide to blog.
So a struggle at times and partnership has won the day. GOB record