Well it’s Monday…I didn’t post for Friday, Saturday or Sunday…more exercise at the gym distracting myself, more walking, sketching, reading… On Saturday I kayaked five miles with my wife, the water was calm and we had a peaceful trip. I do not know that I could exercise outdoors on own as mind tends to take a downward spiral, the gym doesn’t allow that as I am pushing myself each time.
Sunday saw an effort to try and think about school, fairly unsuccessfully, poor sleep and today Monday I am tired – so a long called for exercise rest day. I started low, tried to go food shopping with wife. Almost had a panic attack in coffee shop before shopping. Managed to get breathing under control but retreated to car with bought magazine. Able to read a bit and look at tech pics.
In conversation online yesterday saw others mention marking – flat response to, planning, guilt / flat response; shared number of #mh events in one month – one friend suggested get out of teaching and put health first. I do not know, to be honest. Read a piece this morning about a book on resilience but aimed at surviving first five years of teaching….did that but changing challenges and demands have made job much more demanding.
So, where do I find myself today? I am not in any fit state to be around larger groups of people at the moment so standing in front of a class is not possible. Gradually I need to look at what the issues are… Last academic year drained me so much more than I acknowledged and I feel in a limbo currently. So rest, read, sketch…not exercise and strike today off.
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