Thursday, new meds started, exercise started plus sketching and fresh air. In the first two full days off I accumulate 7 miles of walking, two gym sessions and several sketches plus watch a RWC match too. The exercise is making me relaxed, the gym is making me push myself mentally and physically. I am out of the house, this is far more positive than previous episodes where I have cracked. Admittedly I am staying away from the topic of work but rebuilding myself first.
While visiting a local favoured nature park by the Thames I do a bit of sketching and realise that in the future this is what retirement holds for me – walks, nature, sketching, reading and as I am reminded more help around the home – fair point. A simple lunch out and then home. I booked to do the Bodybike class in the evening – a variant on spin. I watched Wales play in the RWC first then it’s class time. It was hard, I knew I was doing it during and after and there was some self motivational shouting, the good thing I was pushing myself in a positive way again.
A sketch done for a Twitter friend which they have requested so a new way to thank friends for support. A good nights sleep after some reading. It doesn’t feel like a Thursday in fact days have no real labels at the moment and no watch being worn, going with flow more.
So, when should I think about work, don’t want to feel guilt but of course it’s there in a way as I am not there with my classes. This is a difficult one – when to let work thoughts in, I need to be better to survive, but recognising that is not easy, so push thoughts away again for the moment.
Recording this blog each day is helping as a record of how I will come out of this phase. I am a lot better at addressing issues and recognising emotions than I used to be, but then I am more experienced at doing that too.