Hexagon peg – square hole

What a week… A Teachmeet presentation in Medway, Kent extolling the virtues of solo taxonomy and interpretive dance and Ronseal(c) references to teach physical processes in geography – a chance to be passionate about teaching and liked for it. A meeting where I feel steam rollered about what my job title actually means. An email to say that I felt steam rollered. A follow up meeting where compromises are made. A sports day where therapy is raking the sand pit after each jump for long and triple jump. A drink or two (non alcoholic) with comments about how I come across as a passionate educator.

Overall, lots of positives, the lessons outside, the entries coming in for the art, photography and originality in presentation competitions within the department (yes we teach geography, but creativity is king), lots to savour, lots to smile about.

But at the end of the week the overwhelming feeling that I do not fit. How can being passionate about my job, role, subject, vocation feel that I am in the wrong?

I am fighting letting go and sloughing (? Should that be slowing ?) in to despond. I do not want to fall, slide, fall off. I can not be around my family easily I am a miserable, snappy sod this morning. I want to fight back.

Is it time I leave teaching! I can not believe that question is in my head after Tuesday’s Teachmeet but there it is it is out in the open. Am I the obstacle?

Thoughts – mishmashlearning consultant, time out, travel, tutor, work in education a different way. I want to teach. I love to teach, I am a teacher, I am a geographer but also a cross curricular advocate.

If you are a regular reader; comment – don’t leave this post hanging. And be honest…thanks

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6 responses to “Hexagon peg – square hole

  1. The life of a ‘consultant’ is often appealing to passionate teachers (just like you) who feel in their element focusing solely on the shiny bits at events like Teach meets. Twitter is full of positive feedback for them, people cooing over their ideas. There are some *incredible* independent people out there. It’s easy and expected to covet their freedom, balance ans ability to be selective about their work.
    I’d argue that the best of these are current teachers, teachers who may have become lost in paperwork & bureaucracy but fight for a balance, sharing their ethos through consultancy but retaining a classroom post. There are also the ones who are exceedingly selective with the slice of their world that they share. Do we see the weeks they have no work? The 10 hours they spend on a motorway? Their disillusion at delivering the same session multiple times a week…?
    The grass isn’t always greener. It’s clear a change is in the air for you, just make it the right one.
    Much love x

    • Sarah, I don’t really want to consult I want to be in a classroom or on a field or a beach and teaching / sharing learning about geography. Supporting children to good GCSE results to go on and develop their lives.

  2. Mrs Gedalovitch

    Don’t leave! I need your passion and enthusiasm – I am just finishing my PGCE and have seen you at teachmeets! I need to know that there are people in this profession who love teaching, who want to continually grow and develop the profession and share with honesty. Selfish of me? Yes! You are inspirational. For you? I genuinely don’t know – are you in the right school or are you encountering this in more than one school? Are you just plain knackered because we are near the end of the year? BIG HUGS to you. You need to make the decision which will give you peace – whatever that may be – but I just wanted you to know that your passion is appreciated – even if it is from afar! Mrs Gedalovitch x

  3. Twitter has been incredible for education it has given me personally so many amazing ideas, it’s helped me move my teaching forward and I can honestly say that it has benefited the children I have the pleasure to work with. However it has also made me feel inadequate, it’s caused me to question the things I do to the point where I think what is the point. One reason for this is the falseness of it all, no one mentions the nightmare classes, the ill informed and uneducated leaders, the occasional feelings of powerlessness. Everything that’s presented is the very best off what everyone does and this makes me feel that I’m not doing enough and with a young family, neglected wife and big DIY to do list I will never be able to do enough. As soon as I properly realise this maybe it will help. I think you are doing a great job, and I have enjoyed and have found your writing very helpful. I am in the same boat as you I feel worn down and worn out by the industry I work in.
    Don’t forget though the amount of lives you have touched, I still remember my teachers and the thinks they taught me i still say hi in the street 15 years later. What you do is a very important job, it’s just as important as a doctor or lawyer. It’s also a job that not just anyone can do, good teachers are highly skilled and intelligent both academically and emotionally. Whatever you choose to do I am sure you will be incredibly successful. I hope you have a restful break and find an answer to your dilemma.

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